On the last day of the school term, my son's bike was stolen. It was his really good bike, the one we had bought him that was supposed to last him well for years. If you have had anything stolen you know the feeling of unfairness and violation.
I went into half panic, half survival mode. I start asking people if anyone had seen anything, asking about security cameras and making phone calls.
A kind hearted mum overheard our troubles and offered to drive us home. She had her own children in the car, and I'm sure had places to be. Yet she insisted she help by driving us home. Otherwise it would have been a long walk home and the short winter day was fast coming to a close. I'm very grateful.
It was the end of a week where things just didn't seem to flow well. When we got home I started crying, so did my son. This has been the worst day, we both said. In the past I could have kept the story of poor me playing and playing in my head. Replaying every little tiny thing that wasn't fair and I was worried about.
This time however it didn't last long. In the shower that night, I stopped the poor me story. I decided to change the story. What can I learn from this? Is this how I want my son to learn how to cope? how can I model to my son a better way to cope?
As I tucked him into bed, I said "today something not so good happened. But you know what? I bet we can still name 3 good things about today". I told him mine (one being about the kind lady offering to take us home, without us even asking) then he smiled big and told me his. Now he usually plays too smart for any of my attempts to get much info out of him. But in that moment he played willingly along. We had a bonding day. I hope we both had a real learning day.
I may have had many mum moments I'm not proud of and I wish I could take back, but this one I think I did good. 3 good things....a grateful list before falling asleep...now that's something to take into the subconscious during the night! We have been continuing the '3 good things' list to each other each night this week.
Maybe I needed this to be challenged. I had just finished being interviewed on a podcast where I said the food changes help me cope mentally with life's challenges. I believe they do so much; I really have become a much calmer mum. You can read more about my journey here.
Yet I realise food is not the only factor. The mindfulness to say 'stop' to ourselves when the old story is playing and flip it around helps build resilience. Being conscience of our own behaviour and helping our children with strategies to cope with life's challenges is a gift. Life is a continual learning experience. I wish you all wellness, Mel x